TRAP Harrisburg: The Online Fat-Burning Class for People Who’ve Had Enough

There’s a certain kind of pain that hits different when you try to squeeze into your “last summer” shorts right before going to Reservoir Park and suddenly realize… baby, they not shorts no more—they biker tights. The shorts didn’t shrink. That’s you. And before you start blaming the dryer or stress eating from Sheetz runs, let’s talk about the real enemy here: inactivity, bad habits, and telling yourself “I’ll start Monday” for the last 37 Mondays in a row.

But that’s exactly why TRAP was created—Tabata Rounds Activate Progress. It’s the official Google Meet smack-you-back-into-reality online group class for the people of Harrisburg who been talking about getting right, but keep winding up at Millworks eating crab dip like they burned 800 calories walking there. Nah.

TRAP ain’t for the fitness influencers. It ain’t for the girl on IG with abs who eats boiled chicken and cucumber slices. This is for real Harrisburg folks. The ones who say “yo I gotta get right” every time they pass the mirror in the Strawberry Square bathrooms. The ones who do just enough yard work to feel like they worked out, then reward themselves with a hoagie from Neato’s like they just ran a Tough Mudder.

This is for the ones who are tired. Not fake tired. Not lazy tired. But “my knees click when I get out the car at Giant” tired. This is for the people who start walking City Island and quit halfway like “It’s the humidity.” No, it’s the fact that your body been on airplane mode for 6 years.

TRAP is 30 minutes of real-deal fat burning fire. Delivered straight through your phone or laptop on Google Meet. You don’t need a gym. You don’t need to buy nothing. You don’t need to drive to Planet Fitness just to park, take selfies in the mirror, and leave after two machines. What you do need is to stop playing. Stop negotiating with yourself. Stop scrolling past your own progress.

This program was built for the person who’s already on their fourth attempt at a “lifestyle change” this year. You fell off after your cousin’s cookout in May and been in a downward spiral of potato salad and Capri Suns ever since. But you still want it. You still feel that little voice telling you it’s time. You’re just scared to try again and fail in front of yourself.

That’s what TRAP is for. It’s not about perfection—it’s about permission. Permission to show up sweaty, out of shape, breathless, unsure, annoyed, fed up—and still get results. Because you showed up. That’s half the battle. Actually, no—it’s the whole war in Harrisburg when you factor in how many people live five minutes from Italian Lake but still ain’t walked around it since Obama was president.

And lemme keep it a buck—TRAP ain't cute. You gon’ sweat. You gon’ gasp. You gon’ say things like “who made this class” and “I hate Coach Ant” and then show up again the next day with your little towel and water bottle like “okay, let’s go.”

Each class is structured in high-energy four-minute rounds with 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off. Sounds short? Cool. So is a stove burner. Still burns your hand every time. That’s what TRAP does. Quick. Intense. Effective. Your whole body is under attack—and that’s a good thing. Because fat don’t deserve peace.

And listen—don’t tell me “I’m not ready.” You said that last year. You not ready to be tired all the time. You not ready to keep shopping for the stretchy version of everything. You not ready to miss out on stuff because your energy’s trash. You not ready to feel invisible in your own skin. That’s what you’re really not ready for.

You need something that meets you where you are but don’t let you stay there. Something that reminds you you’re not weak—you’re just undertrained. Something that holds you accountable but don’t shame you. Something that’ll have you sweating in your living room with the camera off, looking crazy, then walking past your reflection in the Uptown Giant window like “wait… who dis?”

That’s TRAP.

Not a trend. Not a challenge. Not a scam.

It’s thirty minutes that changes your mood, your metabolism, and your whole damn mindset. One bottle round at a time.

So the next time your jeans hit you with the “nah, we good” energy…

Or you walk up the Market Street bridge steps and almost meet Jesus…

Or your kid wanna play tag at Wildwood and you give them that “go play with your cousins” look…

Just remember: Coach Ant got a Google Meet link with your name on it.

You ready or what?